Island in the Sun

Summertime always make me think of home - the roadtrips with friends, the weekends out-of-town, sand, surf, barbeques, mangoes, fresh air, fishballs, corn cobs, the dirty ice cream in the street, drinking coke out of plastic bags,  sipping fresh buko juice or eating halo halo on a hot summer day.

These flood of memories makes me yearn to be back in the Philippines, to be embraced warmly by its familiar, welcoming shores, to leave the cruel indifferent desert-concrete jungle of Dubai and once again be treated as a golden island senorita. Yes these are the stuff of my summer daydreams.

When people, foreigners, ask me about the Philippines, I always ask them back "Do you like the beach?" If they say yes, I immediately brighten up and become a little miss unofficial tourism ambassador, happy to go on talking about the places I loved the most, Boracay, Palawan, Batanes, Pagudpud. The list goes on. If they say no, well there's always San Miguel Beer, Sisig, Balut and Karaoke.

There are usually so many good things to say, that sometimes I wonder why some Filipinos choose to brood over or highlight the bad things. 

I think of home in the summertime and I hear a song in my head that goes – On an Island in the sun, we’ll be playing having fun, and it makes me feel so fine, I can’t control my brain…

Waiting for Spring

a bird was freezing in the longest winter

he hasn't flown

he hasn't seen the dawn

a little heat was all he needed

to forget, to go back to sleep

in the dead cold winter night

a flower grew in the garden

she stretched her arms

and smiled

she was waiting for the sun

a little heat was all she needed

to feel alive, to leave behind

the dark cold winter night

it wont be long, she said

it will be long, he said

the spring, she said

the winter, he said

if only i can fly, she said

if only i had roots, he said.

Define Love

 So its that day again in February, and normally, I would let this day go by like any other day, except that this time I’m around I feel the urge to finally discuss it.

LOVE.

Photo taken at Mt. Tapyas, Coron, Palawan, Philippines (while climbing 724 steps to the Summit) 

I have spent most of my younger days pining for it, and most of my adult life trying to understand it that being single and in my 30s, things do seem a lot clearer now, and I am finally getting a good grasp of this thing, of what this so-called madness is all about.

After millions of pop songs, chapters and volumes of books, short stories, poems, movies, TV series, and countless hours spent with friends whining, crying, ranting, gushing over, getting over guy after guy after guy, (or girl after girl –in the case of my male and lesbian friends).  I think I am finally getting the drift.

And its not about chocolates, chuahua dogs, Shakespeare sonnets, or silly love songs. I don’t believe that Cupid or his arrow has much to do with it.  

Its not about movie dates, or liking the same bands, or obsessing over the same hobbies.

Its not about wedding gowns, or romantic getaways, hell, its not even about marriage proposals or destiny, although a lot of people will probably contradict me for this.

Its not about French kisses or Sex, good or bad, long, short, hot, warm or lukewarm, although these could actually be grounds for divorce, and I do know how sex is a significant part of a relationship, but its just not LOVE.

I’ve seen Love. I’ve touched and felt it, I still believe in it, and What I know is this  -

That LOVE is a CHOICE. A choice you make everyday, a choice that keeps defining your relationship with another person who is important to you. And by important, I mean the one you’ve chosen to give that VIP badge or that backstage pass to your life to. The person you can be yourself with, no matter how difficult you or he/she can become. The one you would not think twice about growing old with.

After a certain age, you realize that its not just a matter of being there for someone anymore, but being there WHEN IT MATTERS. Being there when it is difficult. Being there despite of or inspite of. And being there, even when you can’t actually “be there”.

After a certain age, you realize that LOVE is not stupid or blind, that it is in fact the smartest thing, the missing piece, the answer to the big riddle.

It opens up a world of possibilities and wakes you up to the reality of how it made a great deal of sense to be with this person, or how sometimes it was really the only thing that made any kind of sense at all.

It is not complicated or mysterious, because if it is, then it isn’t Love just yet. Love is simple. Love is clear-cut. It tells you where you should be and where you want to be in the next 10, 20, 30 years or even the next 3minutes. 

 Love is dedication, Love is commitment, Love is responsibility.

It is often times setting aside your own personal needs to give someone the best of you and the best that you can offer, because you want them to become better people. This is exactly why my parents, despite their limited capacities chose to send us to good (expensive) schools.  This is exactly why Jesus chose to die a gory death. He loved us enough to want us to become better people. Simple as that.

Like when you say you love your job or whatever it is you do, whether you are salesman, an artist, a writer, a basketball player, you are committed to it, you will not let a slip up if you can help it, you will not stop until you get it right,  until you’ve done everything you could. Love doesn’t give up easily. Love works harder at it and finds a way to make it work.

Love is trust. Love is respect. Love is friendship.

Hachiko, the Akita dog who has a statue in Shibuya, Japan. He is  remembered for his remarkable loyalty to his owner, even many years after his owner's death.    

Think about your best buddy, your good trusted friend, the one you respect highly above all, would you cheat on her/him? Would you hit her/him?  Would you stop listening to them? Would you stop caring?

If you are a normal honest person who has genuine relationships you would try your best to never do anything to break a good friend’s trust, and you will always aspire to get their respect - that, my friend, is Love. 

Also, its important to remember, that Love is FREE and it is given in abundance. So never buy, ask, beg, borrow, or steal it. Hatred has its ifs and buts, Lust has its conditions. Love just gives. Give and receive it freely without pride, without hesitation, without money involved.

Love spotted on display at Opera Gallery, Dubai International Financial Center, on the eve of Valentines 2012

 Love is hope. Love is faith. Love is kindness.

It is having something or someone to hold on to when the road gets dark and slippery. It is believing that someone waits with open arms at the end of the road, the train station, the airport at 3am, or at the dinner table at home. It’s the sound of a tired sleepy voice still saying “hello”and asking- how was your day?” after you’ve kept them waiting on a long busy day.  It is the embrace of forgiveness. It is the Lighthouse. 

The giant Cross awaits and welcomes everyone at the summit of Mt. Tapyas, after 724 steps. Lighted up at night, it also serves as a ''lighthouse" so sailing ships (often  with tourists) can find their way back home. 

Life is tough, Relationships are hard but Love, when its real, it comes easy and It SAVES. 

So if you ever  find yourself struggling, choking, drowning in it with no one to save you, then maybe its time to reconsider your options. It doesn’t matter how brief or how long the affair is, it doesn’t matter how much you’ve got invested in, if it isn’t Saving you, or at least making an effort to, then maybe its not worth Saving, and maybe its time to move on and Love yourself a little a bit more. Remember that the choice is always yours to make.

Sure, there are instances that will make you think twice or thrice or a hundred times about loving someone, there will be unforeseen circumstances, force majure,  maybe the timing isn’t right, maybe you are caught unprepared, maybe there’s no easy way out of a situation, maybe he doesn’t have enough money, maybe his mom doesn’t like you, maybe she doesn't live in your city, maybe she smokes too much,  the maybes are endless...but going back to my first point, it is a CHOICE, and one that you''re gonna have to stand by and keep making. 

So this Valentines day, 

I wish you Love,

 which is to say -

I wish you the Courage to make your choices,

The Wisdom to make the –right-choices

the Strength to stick by your choices,

and above all, that you would find genuine, lasting HAPPINESS 

in all the choices you've made and continue to make.

I wish you Love.

Happy Valentines day!

Words and photos by Kristine Abante
(except for Hachiko Statue and Lloyd Dobbler from the movie Say Anything)
Illustrations from The Little Prince

Written in Dubai, UAE on the 10th February 2012

People power – 25 years and counting

I woke up on Saturday morning from a strange dream - that I hopped on a taxi in Dubai and then suddenly forced to board the “Bicol Express”, you know that old tram that runs from Paco to Bicol, then taken off to a dingy clinic in a rural town in the Philippines to get immunity shots for an unidentified virus that deletes memory.

The People Power Revolution (also known as the EDSA Revolution, the Philippine Revolution of 1986) was a series of popular demonstrations in the Philippines that began in 1983 and culminated in 1986. This case of  non-violent revolution led to the departure of President Ferdinand Marcos and the restoration of the country's democracy.

Feeling strange, I did not realize what all of this meant until I sat down to check what my friends 8000 miles away are up to, only to come across a youtube video of the Coca cola Happiness truck moving around Marikina giving out sweet little things, roses, coke, pogo sticks, folding chairs and teddy bears.

I started the year caught up with "Dubai’’, the parties, the clubs, the arena concerts, the shopping festival, Friday brunches,  shimmery eye makeup  -  sparkling, extravagant, often exaggerated- Dubai, and it left me setting the bar higher, wanting more and more things for myself and my family.

Seeing the Coke truck move around Marikina was like a shot in the arm. Memories came flooding back, of happy summers spent with friends, eating fishballs and drinking coke from a plastic bag. The dream was real. The video reminded me of simple joys back home and how, considering all the shit that’s going on, pinoys are really some of the coolest people you’ll ever find in the world, cheesy sentimentality aside.

The rest of my afternoon was spent watching this brilliant BBC documentary where a London Bus Driver tackles on the task of a Jeepney driver in the Toughest Place to Drive on Earth - Manila . It turned out to be more than just a story of taking on a dare, but an accurate portrayal of our lives as Pinoys, which can all be summed up in one word – STRUGGLE.

If you look at it from a foreigner’s perspective, what Pinoys consider as norm, to them is a great Injustice. Yet we remain cheerful, persevering, resilient, rolling along the punches and bearing our crosses with the tough determination of a jeepney driver or a boxer.

 To foreign eyes, we were handed Lemons, to us these Lemons are better than nothing and you just gotta find a way to survive.  We spent 1000 hours stuck in a traffic jam every year, but there’s nothing else we can do but grin and bear it. So when a red truck pulls up in the neighbourhood to hand out free soda we can’t help but smile. What joy, what relief it must be to be given something you didn’t particularly had to work hard for.   

It is no wonder why the Philippines stop for Manny Pacquiao.  It is no wonder we proudly claim every talented pinoy singer who makes it big abroad.  It is no wonder we put  on 3stars-and-a sun stickers on our cars, or wear poloshirts with the Philippines map on it.

We are all in desperate need of heroes and the slightest signs of hope for a country that seems to have already been taken to the dogs.  Living in the Philippines or having a family in the Philippines, meant being in a life-long Survivor Challenge that you just feel you earned the right to wear a shirt for it, to celebrate your sacrifices.

At the wake of 25 years anniversary of the EDSA revolution, where the world first got a glimpse of how truly great we are, it seemed to me we all need a shot in the arm for a virus that is spreading quickly - erasing everything we learned, everything we stood for, everything we had been fighting for.  

Twenty five years and we have nothing much to show.  In the BBC documentary, Rogelio the Jeepney driver speaks about his frustration, how no matter how hard he works everyday his circumstance never change, on the other hand the fithy rich become richer and filthier.

Somewhere along the way those of us who have found better lives, those of us who were lucky enough to get a taste of sparkling, extravagant, exaggerated good life,  somewhere along the way we forgot that we have been handed a responsibility, a responsibility that is rooted in the faith that we have all been raised to believe - to love one another as much as you love yourself.

25 years and we have nothing show. Its easy to point fingers, to complain, to throw in the towel, take your family and leave, but we all seem to have forgotten that 25 years ago we had the courage and capability to take it into our own hands, to stick the finger to the man and get what we wanted.

I realize I am just one person, but if by pouring my brains and heart out to people who would listen would help me inspire others to go D-I-Y and pay it forward then maybe I can make a dent. Maybe its time we stop complaining and just do what we can to help, in whatever way. 

We may have limited resources,  we may come from different backgrounds, records show there is strength in numbers. Maybe its time we stop thinking of  People Power as Marcos vs. Aquino thing, Red vs. Yellow, and stop debating whether the ex-president should get a heroes burial. He’s dead anyway. We 80million strong are not. 

I am sorry for the long post, and if you are still with me, thank you for taking the time.

I realize that me and my peers are now in that stage of our lives where we are actually capable of doing something, but if we let it die, the dream will die with us. I don’t want to forget, I don’t want to give up without trying and I believe there are others out there like me who just need a shot in the arm to remember how really, uberly cool it is to be Pinoy, cheesy sentimentality aside.