What is Freedom?

Sometimes you wouldn't know what Freedom means until you come into a place where it is scarce.

Here in Dubai, I believe it has been bought and traded for the comforts of luxury by locals and expats alike, all of us, including me. In other places in the Middle East,  take Saudi, Syria, the Gaza strip, for those places, Freedom remains nothing but a vague figment of a dream, or a downright irrelevant illusion.  Places where citizens might rather wish to trade their nationality for a shiny new visa that would strip them of their roots and ultimately protect them from persecution. 

Meanwhile in the Philippines, everyone has a say, everyone gets to have a go at it. One little faux pas, and everyone is entitled to his or her own piece. In the past few months, we have observed how Social media has been exploited relentlessly by our kababayans, sharing and liking, commenting expertly, fiercely, sometimes unwittingly. 

We exercised our rights and fought for our opinions out on the streets, on facebook walls, on tweeter feeds, at the airport, at home, in our offices, and even in the Senate halls, criticizing and impeaching the highest counsel.  In the heat of discussions on whether  - Jessica Sanchez should've won American Idol, or if Manny Pacquiao was stupid to disagree with Gay Marriage, whether Lady Gaga and her antics should be allowed to corrupt our morals, and if Bayo was racist in their 50percent campaign,  many times  we heard the phrase ''It is a free country'' used as mighty defense. 

Perhaps it would be naive to think that our little voices mean anything, but having the right to say what you want to say when you want to say it, and being allowed to be where you want to be, those seemingly trivial things, those two, i've come to realize, are the very basics of Freedom. 

In the wake of our 114th independence day, I still count myself among the lucky ones, we do truly have every reason to celebrate. Love, value and protect our Freedom. It is something no amount of money or First-world comforts can buy, it is a gift that many of our valiant men had died for, and rightly so.

Mabuhay ang Pilipinas!

Top 5 Things I Like About Ari Gold

Ari Gold - The iconic Talent Agent from HBO's Entourage. Boom!

 Top 5 Things I Like About Ari Gold

1. Humor.

Fucking no-holds bar, one-of-kind, can only be built by years of playing in Hardcore Hollywood, Ballsy kind of Humor. And he means it too. Its not just lip service.  I’d really rather have someone smash up something and mean it than take it back after the show. This is one of those things that for once, I like, about American Humor. I mean I like British dry subtle kind of humor because that’s more me, but characters like Ari Gold are the ones you can only dream of becoming in real life, but never could. You know you wish you can just be rude and tell your boss he should be licking Donald Trumps ass and mean it.  And he does this so effortlessly. Barney is a little pinky compared to Ari Gold.

Britney’s Beavershot

Ari: Have you seen Vince’s trailer?
Dana: I have, it’s good
Ari: Oh, please! It’s fucking great, gonna be downloaded more times than Britney’s beavershot.

Best Dress

Ari (wants Lloyd to go to a meeting to sign a gay tv-writer): Just go grab your best dress and know that today, your love of cock is a huge asset to the company.

2. Hardcore Hollywood Sharpness and just plain Balls.

Speaking of Hardcore Hollywood, Ari Gold is the realist in the field of dreams. He’s the proverbial shark in the suit, the one you either love or hate, no in betweens, and you always would wish he is on your side, because to be his enemy means a certain death, one way or another. He doesn’t let go of grudges easily, because he knows very well, by experience, that you are only as good as your last hit and that one thing always leads to another in Tinseltown, so you gotta pay your keep. He takes risks, but well-calculated risks. He picks a horse and bet on it with all he has. 

Jinx!

Mrs. Ari: And if we don’t open?
Ari: If we don’t open!? No no no… if we don’t open!?!? What do you mean by that? Would you say that to a fighter on the morning of a fight? Maybe you’ll get knocked out, see you after the fight if you’re not in a coma? Don’t jinx this baby.

3. The Godfather Loyalty

I love the Godfather series and this I think is the primary reason why I like Entourage and Ari Gold. It is a sort of Godfather translated into shallow-in-surface Hollywood. If there’s one thing about Ari Gold, he is LOYAL. Dedicated and Loyal.

He is loyal agent, loyal friend/bro,  loyal boss, if you’re with him he will fight for you till the end.

He is a dedicated dad and a loyal husband, and I love him for this. He works hard because he wants the best for his family and himself. He loves his wife, he is passionate about his wife, he is not the perfect husband but he never, not once cheats on his wife, despite his frequent sex innuendos and blatant dirty language, and the many available girls at his disposal, he never cheats on her, because he is also scared of his wife in a good way, scared to lose her, because Mrs. Ari stands her ground and Ari knows that no matter how many beautiful girls he bangs, nothing compares to what he has with Mrs. Ari, which is “A Team”.  I think this is the best kind of relationship, and it is best portrayed by this couple,  not the cheesy ones, or the confused-mad-love-ones we often see on TV these days, most esp on  Romantic sitcoms.

Special Johnny

Ari: Vince Chase wants this for his brother Johnny. Now we all know that Johnny Chase may have limited talent. But, like a child with special needs, a real family member will stand by his side. A real family member will buy that child’s way into Harvard if that’s what it takes. Vince Chase is standing by his brother, and I’m standing by both of them.

Wed

Ari (at the Playboy Mansion): God damn I wish I wasn’t married.

4. Ari loves Lloyd, and I love Lloyd so I love Ari and vice versa. Lloyd is Ari’s gay assistant who has been loyal to him through thick or thin, despite the daily Racial slurs and verbal abuse. I relate to Lloyd in a way I relate to Devil wears prada. Tough Love. It is how you learn, and in a way makes you respect people who got there before you, how you should not take things personally all the time, and if you want to move up, you gotta be ready for the daily slaying. Tough mentors make the best and most loyal students.

It’s Your Turn Now, Lloyd

Lloyd: How? You are my inspiration, Ari. I’m still learning to be more like you.
Ari: No, you’re not like me and you don’t want to be. You’re fair and honest and you don’t like women.

5. Ari is GOOD at what he does, and is committed. Anybody who is good at what he does gets my Respect, maybe not always my love, but always my respect.

No Chance

Ari (being interviewed on Medellin): I always try to steer my clients away from working with unexperienced directors and producers, because why take a chance? Vinnie really wanted to do this movie and there was no stopping him. But then when he wanted to put up his own money I thought that was crazy. ‘Cause look: most movies lose money. It’s my job as a talent representative to make sure that even if a movie loses all of it’s money, my client still sees al of his.

Art Dubai and my Big 3 (Part One)

Life is short,

Art long,

Opportunity fleeting,

Experience treacherous,

Judgment difficult.

- Hippocrates, 400BC


I got this quote from  a New York times article i'm reading just now and it fittingly sums up my week and come to think of it,  my 3 years in Dubai.

I've been too busy past few days that I forgot about my "Coming to Dubai" anniversary. March 15. Its official, I've been in Desert City for 3 years, and yes, I've been mostly away from home for 3 years. If I stayed in my first job, i wouldve finished my contract by now, but thankfully God had other plans.

The decision to come here was a one-eye-open-jump-off-the cliff kind-of-thing. You know one of those moments where you really just decide to drop all inhibitions and just TAKE A CHANCE, because something inside tells you if you don't do it, you'll never know and you'll be left wondering, and boy, am I glad I did.

Three years ago i took that leap and now I'd say I'm finally in the water floating free.


Life is short. Opportunity Fleeting, and though you do get a lot of chances to get it right, the opportunities are never the same, and if you don't take the high road, and take a risk you could be missing out on something really special or even life-changing.


Experience Treacherous, Judgement Difficult. Dubai is not the easiest foreign city to live in, especially if you've been raised in Asian-meets-Catholic values and predominantly Western ideals of Freedom, and where you can get away with much of everything if you know how. When i first came here, I pretty much had to let go of most of my previous self, my old experiences, and reserve most of my judgements until i learned ropes.

Life is short. Art long. For what is Art but the imitation of life, and vice versa, a certain truth, and a way of looking at things differently. This week Dubai was alive with Art, and despite the fact that the city hides a dangerous ugly dungeon, it gave me the unique opportunity to reconnect with Art, and eventually brought me back to myself. Only this time, I am a different person looking at another angle, recognizing parts of myself and seeing that my life's painting has a lot more to offer now.

I am the same but not the same, and this week has been pivotal to that change. 


MONDAY :  

5pm Monday - Dubai Mall :

I found myself in Dubai Mall with some spare time, and as an old habit, whenever I find myself in the mall with time to kill, I go to the bookstore. It's been a while since i let myself wander around books, i took some to read, and lo and behold at the far end of the bookstore, behind the Manga section, I found a Japanese coffeeshop overlooking the famous Dubai fountain.

If there's one thing in Dubai ill never get tired of seeing it is this fountain. I order cappucinno, four Japanese women walk in, a grandma, her 30something daughter, her 20-something young niece and a 2-year old little girl. They sit in front of me and the fountain show starts. For a moment there, it felt like I was sitting at the border between two worlds - asian-Japan and the the very Vegas-inspired Dubai Fountain, and that the Universe or God is trying to tell me a secret.

I take out my Muji notebook and I'm writing again, the traditional way, with Pen and Paper. The return of the Familiar. "Welcome back" - i whispered silently to myself. My Blackberry phone dies before i could share the moment. Just as it should.


7pm, Monday - Armani Hotel  : 

My photographer friend calls me out on my reverie and I go with her to the much-hyped Armani Hotel, where she had to take some photos of some high-end Art exhibit. As expected, high-end art was nowhere near real art, so she went to work taking photos of people who were mostly there for the Champagne and prestige. I wandered off to check out the so-called art, only to find a pixelated hundred dirham bill stuck in a gold frame, with a 22,000aed price tag. "Yes, Dorothy, you are still in Dubai" - I whispered to myself.

At that point I lost interest in Armani art, got myself a glass of free champagne, sat on a corner and people-watched. My friend comes back after 15minutes, she's done taking photos, and dying for a cigarette. We went to the overpriced veranda of the Armani Hotel to watch the Fountain again. And while smoking i decided to ask her about the incredibly story of how she met the rock icon Karl Roy, who died on Sunday. Her story was larger than life, like Karl and it blew me away. It was a story that made me think about chances. There on the Armani balcony, I hear a true-to-life story about Taking chances, more importantly Taking a chance on people and giving people a chance. How a small thing can change one person's life, and eventually make a difference in the world. A Stone picked up and thrown in the river creating ripples.

Almost Famous: Brutal Grace, my friend-photographer, got her first big break because she was a fan of Karl Roy and then Karl Roy became his fan, and their lives we're never the same again. 

It was then I realized that your life is not entirely yours, like how a painting or anything created out of nowhere becomes a part of the collective world and now has the potential to affect the next person that you come across - and because of this one should never, if he can help it, put a pixelated Hundred Dirham painting on a Gold canvass and call it Art. Karl Roy never did. God bless your soul Karl.


9PM, Monday - DIFC: 

To shake away the Armani Art exhibit let down, My friend and I decided to get a dose of some real art and headed to, well the Dubai Financial Center, the hub of decent art galleries in Dubai. Of course, money brings the best art to the region, and art without the means, well, it is good but sad. So DIFC galleries at least had more real art to showcase and the crowd was much more eclectic. I cannot go as far as say authentic, but for what its worth the crowd had character.

We meet a young famous artist - Sacha Jafri, who had an exhibit filled with doodles he'd done with special ed kids. These were very good doodles with good messages for a good cause. He was a fan of Kafka, and one of his drawings had a cassette tape that says SideA-Side B. Of course, we fell in love with him.

We stayed till the everybody left coz the art vibe was really getting to us and it was a good feeling. Then, when you least expect it magic happens. A take-away moment, mostly for my friend, but i was happy to be there.

Sacha comes out of his gallery tired, and sits with us for a while. He said he's been mostly travelling, London, New York. I, mere consumer of art, sit there comfortably with the maker, chat and drink a bit, thinking that  this guy is possibly a toast in his circle. It doesn''t matter, at that moment he was like any other guy. At that moment we were on the same playing field. Such is the charm Dubai, chance meetings are extraordinarily ordinary.

*End of Part 1*

to be continued.












 

Define Love

 So its that day again in February, and normally, I would let this day go by like any other day, except that this time I’m around I feel the urge to finally discuss it.

LOVE.

Photo taken at Mt. Tapyas, Coron, Palawan, Philippines (while climbing 724 steps to the Summit) 

I have spent most of my younger days pining for it, and most of my adult life trying to understand it that being single and in my 30s, things do seem a lot clearer now, and I am finally getting a good grasp of this thing, of what this so-called madness is all about.

After millions of pop songs, chapters and volumes of books, short stories, poems, movies, TV series, and countless hours spent with friends whining, crying, ranting, gushing over, getting over guy after guy after guy, (or girl after girl –in the case of my male and lesbian friends).  I think I am finally getting the drift.

And its not about chocolates, chuahua dogs, Shakespeare sonnets, or silly love songs. I don’t believe that Cupid or his arrow has much to do with it.  

Its not about movie dates, or liking the same bands, or obsessing over the same hobbies.

Its not about wedding gowns, or romantic getaways, hell, its not even about marriage proposals or destiny, although a lot of people will probably contradict me for this.

Its not about French kisses or Sex, good or bad, long, short, hot, warm or lukewarm, although these could actually be grounds for divorce, and I do know how sex is a significant part of a relationship, but its just not LOVE.

I’ve seen Love. I’ve touched and felt it, I still believe in it, and What I know is this  -

That LOVE is a CHOICE. A choice you make everyday, a choice that keeps defining your relationship with another person who is important to you. And by important, I mean the one you’ve chosen to give that VIP badge or that backstage pass to your life to. The person you can be yourself with, no matter how difficult you or he/she can become. The one you would not think twice about growing old with.

After a certain age, you realize that its not just a matter of being there for someone anymore, but being there WHEN IT MATTERS. Being there when it is difficult. Being there despite of or inspite of. And being there, even when you can’t actually “be there”.

After a certain age, you realize that LOVE is not stupid or blind, that it is in fact the smartest thing, the missing piece, the answer to the big riddle.

It opens up a world of possibilities and wakes you up to the reality of how it made a great deal of sense to be with this person, or how sometimes it was really the only thing that made any kind of sense at all.

It is not complicated or mysterious, because if it is, then it isn’t Love just yet. Love is simple. Love is clear-cut. It tells you where you should be and where you want to be in the next 10, 20, 30 years or even the next 3minutes. 

 Love is dedication, Love is commitment, Love is responsibility.

It is often times setting aside your own personal needs to give someone the best of you and the best that you can offer, because you want them to become better people. This is exactly why my parents, despite their limited capacities chose to send us to good (expensive) schools.  This is exactly why Jesus chose to die a gory death. He loved us enough to want us to become better people. Simple as that.

Like when you say you love your job or whatever it is you do, whether you are salesman, an artist, a writer, a basketball player, you are committed to it, you will not let a slip up if you can help it, you will not stop until you get it right,  until you’ve done everything you could. Love doesn’t give up easily. Love works harder at it and finds a way to make it work.

Love is trust. Love is respect. Love is friendship.

Hachiko, the Akita dog who has a statue in Shibuya, Japan. He is  remembered for his remarkable loyalty to his owner, even many years after his owner's death.    

Think about your best buddy, your good trusted friend, the one you respect highly above all, would you cheat on her/him? Would you hit her/him?  Would you stop listening to them? Would you stop caring?

If you are a normal honest person who has genuine relationships you would try your best to never do anything to break a good friend’s trust, and you will always aspire to get their respect - that, my friend, is Love. 

Also, its important to remember, that Love is FREE and it is given in abundance. So never buy, ask, beg, borrow, or steal it. Hatred has its ifs and buts, Lust has its conditions. Love just gives. Give and receive it freely without pride, without hesitation, without money involved.

Love spotted on display at Opera Gallery, Dubai International Financial Center, on the eve of Valentines 2012

 Love is hope. Love is faith. Love is kindness.

It is having something or someone to hold on to when the road gets dark and slippery. It is believing that someone waits with open arms at the end of the road, the train station, the airport at 3am, or at the dinner table at home. It’s the sound of a tired sleepy voice still saying “hello”and asking- how was your day?” after you’ve kept them waiting on a long busy day.  It is the embrace of forgiveness. It is the Lighthouse. 

The giant Cross awaits and welcomes everyone at the summit of Mt. Tapyas, after 724 steps. Lighted up at night, it also serves as a ''lighthouse" so sailing ships (often  with tourists) can find their way back home. 

Life is tough, Relationships are hard but Love, when its real, it comes easy and It SAVES. 

So if you ever  find yourself struggling, choking, drowning in it with no one to save you, then maybe its time to reconsider your options. It doesn’t matter how brief or how long the affair is, it doesn’t matter how much you’ve got invested in, if it isn’t Saving you, or at least making an effort to, then maybe its not worth Saving, and maybe its time to move on and Love yourself a little a bit more. Remember that the choice is always yours to make.

Sure, there are instances that will make you think twice or thrice or a hundred times about loving someone, there will be unforeseen circumstances, force majure,  maybe the timing isn’t right, maybe you are caught unprepared, maybe there’s no easy way out of a situation, maybe he doesn’t have enough money, maybe his mom doesn’t like you, maybe she doesn't live in your city, maybe she smokes too much,  the maybes are endless...but going back to my first point, it is a CHOICE, and one that you''re gonna have to stand by and keep making. 

So this Valentines day, 

I wish you Love,

 which is to say -

I wish you the Courage to make your choices,

The Wisdom to make the –right-choices

the Strength to stick by your choices,

and above all, that you would find genuine, lasting HAPPINESS 

in all the choices you've made and continue to make.

I wish you Love.

Happy Valentines day!

Words and photos by Kristine Abante
(except for Hachiko Statue and Lloyd Dobbler from the movie Say Anything)
Illustrations from The Little Prince

Written in Dubai, UAE on the 10th February 2012