Top 5 Things I Like About Ari Gold

Ari Gold - The iconic Talent Agent from HBO's Entourage. Boom!

 Top 5 Things I Like About Ari Gold

1. Humor.

Fucking no-holds bar, one-of-kind, can only be built by years of playing in Hardcore Hollywood, Ballsy kind of Humor. And he means it too. Its not just lip service.  I’d really rather have someone smash up something and mean it than take it back after the show. This is one of those things that for once, I like, about American Humor. I mean I like British dry subtle kind of humor because that’s more me, but characters like Ari Gold are the ones you can only dream of becoming in real life, but never could. You know you wish you can just be rude and tell your boss he should be licking Donald Trumps ass and mean it.  And he does this so effortlessly. Barney is a little pinky compared to Ari Gold.

Britney’s Beavershot

Ari: Have you seen Vince’s trailer?
Dana: I have, it’s good
Ari: Oh, please! It’s fucking great, gonna be downloaded more times than Britney’s beavershot.

Best Dress

Ari (wants Lloyd to go to a meeting to sign a gay tv-writer): Just go grab your best dress and know that today, your love of cock is a huge asset to the company.

2. Hardcore Hollywood Sharpness and just plain Balls.

Speaking of Hardcore Hollywood, Ari Gold is the realist in the field of dreams. He’s the proverbial shark in the suit, the one you either love or hate, no in betweens, and you always would wish he is on your side, because to be his enemy means a certain death, one way or another. He doesn’t let go of grudges easily, because he knows very well, by experience, that you are only as good as your last hit and that one thing always leads to another in Tinseltown, so you gotta pay your keep. He takes risks, but well-calculated risks. He picks a horse and bet on it with all he has. 

Jinx!

Mrs. Ari: And if we don’t open?
Ari: If we don’t open!? No no no… if we don’t open!?!? What do you mean by that? Would you say that to a fighter on the morning of a fight? Maybe you’ll get knocked out, see you after the fight if you’re not in a coma? Don’t jinx this baby.

3. The Godfather Loyalty

I love the Godfather series and this I think is the primary reason why I like Entourage and Ari Gold. It is a sort of Godfather translated into shallow-in-surface Hollywood. If there’s one thing about Ari Gold, he is LOYAL. Dedicated and Loyal.

He is loyal agent, loyal friend/bro,  loyal boss, if you’re with him he will fight for you till the end.

He is a dedicated dad and a loyal husband, and I love him for this. He works hard because he wants the best for his family and himself. He loves his wife, he is passionate about his wife, he is not the perfect husband but he never, not once cheats on his wife, despite his frequent sex innuendos and blatant dirty language, and the many available girls at his disposal, he never cheats on her, because he is also scared of his wife in a good way, scared to lose her, because Mrs. Ari stands her ground and Ari knows that no matter how many beautiful girls he bangs, nothing compares to what he has with Mrs. Ari, which is “A Team”.  I think this is the best kind of relationship, and it is best portrayed by this couple,  not the cheesy ones, or the confused-mad-love-ones we often see on TV these days, most esp on  Romantic sitcoms.

Special Johnny

Ari: Vince Chase wants this for his brother Johnny. Now we all know that Johnny Chase may have limited talent. But, like a child with special needs, a real family member will stand by his side. A real family member will buy that child’s way into Harvard if that’s what it takes. Vince Chase is standing by his brother, and I’m standing by both of them.

Wed

Ari (at the Playboy Mansion): God damn I wish I wasn’t married.

4. Ari loves Lloyd, and I love Lloyd so I love Ari and vice versa. Lloyd is Ari’s gay assistant who has been loyal to him through thick or thin, despite the daily Racial slurs and verbal abuse. I relate to Lloyd in a way I relate to Devil wears prada. Tough Love. It is how you learn, and in a way makes you respect people who got there before you, how you should not take things personally all the time, and if you want to move up, you gotta be ready for the daily slaying. Tough mentors make the best and most loyal students.

It’s Your Turn Now, Lloyd

Lloyd: How? You are my inspiration, Ari. I’m still learning to be more like you.
Ari: No, you’re not like me and you don’t want to be. You’re fair and honest and you don’t like women.

5. Ari is GOOD at what he does, and is committed. Anybody who is good at what he does gets my Respect, maybe not always my love, but always my respect.

No Chance

Ari (being interviewed on Medellin): I always try to steer my clients away from working with unexperienced directors and producers, because why take a chance? Vinnie really wanted to do this movie and there was no stopping him. But then when he wanted to put up his own money I thought that was crazy. ‘Cause look: most movies lose money. It’s my job as a talent representative to make sure that even if a movie loses all of it’s money, my client still sees al of his.