Making Sense of Yolanda

As my countrymen in the Philippines struggle with the aftermath of Yolanda/Haiyan, the world's biggest typhoon to make landfall to date, I struggle to find the words to describe the desperation that we feel, especially for us who are away from home, who cannot do much but reach out through words, through balikbayan boxes, through prayers and what little money we can send, all the same feeling that no matter what we do, it just wouldn't be enough.

Much has been said about inefficiency of our government leaders, of our inadequacy to deal with such catastrophe that though I cannot deny the frustration I wouldn't want to add to the stress and the negativity. Rather, I am writing simply to add another voice to the grateful, to let you all know how much we all appreciate the work that everyone is doing, especially those who are on ground - the tireless social workers and volunteers whose heroism day in day out continue to be a source of hope for all us, the local and foreign press who have kept us connected sharing vital information on places where help is much needed, thank you for keeping us up to speed and telling our story.

To the various countries and individuals from all around the globe who have come to support our tiny nation of seven thousand islands, generous with their aid and their resources, expressing symphaties, our heartfelt Salamat for being there, for thinking of us, for lending your able hands, God knows we cannot do this alone.

It is very hard to make sense of something so tragic, but at times like these losing hope is not an option.  As one writer has put it, we are a nation in mourning, but we are not helpless.

Underneath the stench of death, desolation and despair, we have exposed our soul as a nation. Underneath it all, we have shown the world, the stuff that Pinoys are made of - the incredible strenght of a real survivor. You see, we are a people who have, time and again weathered many storms and learned to adapt to all kinds of difficult situations, in our own country and in other places around the world, even in the direst of circumstances you will find us carrying on, as one family, calling each kabayan, (countrymen), ate or kuya (sister or brother), finding reasons to smile despite our many problems.

If there is a silver lining to it all,  not to undermine the great loss that many of my kabayans have suffered, I would say that Yolanda / Haiyan brought us all of us back to our senses,  rightly putting things into perspective.

The truth is, it so easy to be sucked in by the daily grind, by stuff, by so-called matters of consequences - politics, religion, career, fame, money, sex, technology, bad relationships, hollywood, etc but at the end of the day, what really matters most, and perhaps the only thing that matters is our Humanity.

This tragedy is a harsh reminder that no matter who we are, how far we've gone, how much money we have, how much we've achieve, we are all temporary tenants to this generous earth and all of us, regardless of the clothes we wear, our status in society, all of us are living on borrowed time.

That really at the end of the day, when you take away all the petty things, the only thing that would matter is how much, and how generously we loved each other. At the end of it all, we come to realize how our brief lives are only made significant by giving and making a difference in someone else's.

Having said that, still there are many who would rather turn a blind eye to those who are suffering, who would allow their selfish ambitions get the better of them. I pray that they would wake up, I pray that they would not waste time.  Every passing minute is an opportunity to turn it all around. If death is just around the corner, then let us make the days count, and let not those who have perished before us die in vain.

Yolanda may have taken so much from us, but battered as we are, we as Filipinos are proud to show the world what it means to truly live. We are putting our mark on the global map, to be defined as a nation and as people who know the secret to life, and that is to live and let live.


And now these three remain, Faith, hope and love, but the greatest of this is love. - 1 Corinthian 13 :13

Minsan: The Eraserheads Reunion Concert in Dubai

 “Nostalgia - it's delicate, but potent. It's a twinge in your heart far more powerful than memory alone. It takes us to a place where we ache to go again.” – Don Draper, Mad Men

The heads with Sancho, old time collaborator, friend and third guitarist, who Ely introduced to the crowd
as the “fifth Eraserhead. 

I was 13, on my first year at a co-ed highschool when I first saw the Eraserheads play at the UP sunken garden. It was my first ever real live concert. I went with one of my best friends and her cool older sister who was at the time, studying at the same University.  There were plastic balloons flying around which I later learned were called “condoms”. We know pretty much all of the songs from Circus, Ultraelectromagnetic pop and Cutterpillow, but even if you don’t have the records there’s no way you can escape them on the radio. Honestly, who can resist Ely Buendia and his witty common-guy lines about sem-break and heartache?

Such was the pull of the Eheads, it wasn’t just the music per se. In a way, there was a reason why they were always being compared to the Beatles. They were our generation’s (our country’s) Beatlemania. It was a cultural thing more than anything. They had too much influence in fact that everyone, young and old, even the resident “tambays” at your neighborhood sari-sari store would most certainly know the lyrics to  Pare Ko.

I moved to Dubai in 2009, like many other pinoys, in search of better opportunities. As a music fan, and having spent most of my adult life working for the “pop machine”, the news of the Eraserheads Reunion in Dubai was just too good to be true and when it was confirmed that they will be playing at the annual du Music Festival, all of us “Kabayans” based here were psyched.  It was collectively agreed, on all our facebook accounts and twitter feeds, that we HAVE to see them. 

When you work outside the country and your monthly budget is limited, divided into remittances, loans, and other responsibilities, you think twice about spending precious hard-earned money on concerts, but the Eraserheads Reunion, was not just a WANT, it was a NEED. We needed to be there. We needed to see Ely, Raimund, Buddy and Markus play our favorite songs. We needed to belong to that special place again. We needed a piece home as we remembered it.

The Eheads reunion couldn’t have come at a better time.  It was on the same week we launched our first Tagalog / OPM FM station in the Middle East, Tag 91.1 and all streets had banners of either the Eheads or Tag 91.1 that said “serving 645,000 Filipinos in the UAE.” It felt like, for once, the whole of Dubai, was nodding at our Community with respect, and we are finally getting the recognition we deserved.    

I was fortunate enough to be invited to the press conference and while waiting for the band, I met another Filipina, Maggie Lafuente, who came out there with her husband. She skipped work for the chance to meet the Eheads up close. She was trembling.  

 “I was working in London at the time of their first reunion concert in 2008, I badly wanted to go.” Maggie shares.  “I was ready to book a ticket. My sister had to stop me and told me it wasn’t practical. Then I heard about Ely’s heart attack, I CRIED, they just mean that much to me. I never thought I’d see them live again. You see those girls on old footages screaming out, crying over the Beatles, they look crazy but I’d be one of them for Eraserheads.”

Of course, 90% of the media representatives in room were Filipino. I came with former Pulp photographer and good friend Brutal Grace and for a second there I felt like I was at home.

We were told not ask “personal” questions and only stick to the “music festival”. There was a bit of awkwardness at first, but Markus, the more laid back member of the group, put everyone at ease with his clever one-liners. I asked them the most standard thing I could think of  - what was their impression of Dubai, of the place, of the people.

Buddy was quick to answer,  “We are impressed by the camaraderie of the Filipino Community and the incredible presence and support.  We also experienced a bit of the diverse culture in Dubai, like last night we tried Ethiopian food, which was really good.”

When asked if they learned to say any Arabic words, Markus came out with “Kebab, Kebab Dylan, Kebab Marley”, that cracked everyone up and after that the questions just came pouring in until finally somebody was brave enough to ask the obvious    - why a reunion? and why in Dubai? 

Raymund playfully sang “reunited coz it feels so good.” Buddy replies “how many Filipinos are now in Dubai? 600,000? So we have 600,000 reasons to play here and finally Ely spoke up with a cheeky retort – “peer pressure”.

More than 10,000 fans in the UAE came to Dubai Media City to see the Eraserheads perform live on stage again. 

“It was simply natural progression.” Ely explains further.  “We are all doing our own thing for awhile now and then there was this clamor to get back together again and play, especially for those who are based outside the Philippines, and have not seen us play live yet. We are music fans ourselves, and we know what its like to love a band and grow up with their songs. We are just grateful that our songs still resonate with our fans.”

About the songs that they packed for the concert, Raimund shares, “we picked the ones that we enjoy playing. We didn’t really think much about what people will like, or what other nationalities will be there to see us play, pinili namin yung masarap tugtugin.”

I would say this decision just paid off big time. There is simply nothing better than seeing your favorite band enjoying themselves on stage while singing your favorite songs. I was there during the first reunion in 2008, I didn’t feel as connected to them as I was at the Dubai show. Perhaps it was the “homesickness” but I would say the Eraserheads Reunion concert in Dubai, was in the purest sense, about “connection”, about all of us, including the band, sharing the familiar songs and the memories.

The band kicked it off aptly with “Walang Nagbago”, then went on to perform 27 of their best hits, among them the well-loved songs -  ‘Maling Akala’, ‘Ligaya, Huwag Mo Ng Itanong’ , ‘Kailan’ ‘Overdrive’, ‘With A Smile’, ‘Julie Tear Jerky’, Magazin, Minsan and Super Proxy which they dedicated to the late Francis M, who were with them at their last concert in Dubai back in 1999. With over 10,000 fans in attendance, the Eraserheads Reunion at the du World Music Festival last 4^th April was one of the biggest, and possibly the loudest, Dubai has seen this year. 

A friend wrote on his facebook status the night after the concert –

"The best thing about watching Eraserheads is not about the band itself, It's about having the greatest time with your friends, friends that mean the whole song to you, people who you can sing and relate with, banging and just having a great time!Thanks mga pare ko!"

He is right. There was this magic moment, when everyone out in the open field of Dubai Media city was  all singing along to “With a Smile”. We all knew the lyrics to the entire song by heart. It’s hard not to get sentimental, coz the song was about us, about my friends, old and new, about every single struggling overseas filipino I've ever met in Dubai, including myself. 

Lift your head, baby don't be scared / with the things that could go wrong along the way.
We'll get by with a smile / We'll get along with a little prayer and a song.

What does OPM Mean?

This is a question I’ve been asked many times, and frankly a question that I have been struggling to answer every time.  As an acronym, it refers to Original Pilipino Music, but the more difficult question is what does "Original" mean? What does "Pilipino music" mean? and more importantly, what does it mean, to me, personally.

Ever since I got here in Dubai, I have been blessed (and sometimes cursed) with the opportunity to work on, one way or another, distributing and promoting OPM. 

I am certainly no expert and I can only speak for my behalf. The truth is I am just another fan trying to get as much I can.  

So if you ask me what does OPM mean to me?  It is not one thing, but rather a flood of memories, of  familiar songs and tiny take-away moments like ....

...Rivermaya singing Himala to a small hopeful crowd at Gotham in Malate on a rainy night 

....or watching the Eraserheads live for the first time at the UP Sunken Garden with my High school friends

....hearing a blind man with a guitar singing Freddie Aguilar's Anak on one of Manila’s sidewalks while walking towards the jeepney stand

....catching Cynthia Alexander play at Fete de la Musique year after year and always taken away by how really good she is

....or simply hanging out in some dingy club in Espanya or in Saguijo watching 20+ bands plug and play. 

...or this one day at work, huddled in the boardroom, listening and getting  excited by  this unique take of one Filipina singer on Bossa Nova

... or finding a club in Dubai and being able to order Sisig and San miguel while watching the versatile all-pinoy line up go from Pop to Rock to R&B.  

... recently OPM meant singing Eraserhead's "Minsan" and being overwhelmed with that strange liberating feeling of singing along in your native tounge with your best buddies and 10,000 fans on an open field in an alien Middle East City such as Dubai.   

OPM is my cause, my community and a large part of my identity. OPM is alive, but I do believe it needs and deserves support, more than the stupid Gwiyomi or Gangnam or Harlem Shake videos that don't mean anything. 


OPM means we are one.

"Sasalubungin natin ang kinabukasan, ng walang takot at walang pangamba, Tadahana'y medyo overated kung minsan,....one of my favorite singer-songwriters Rico Blanco in Dubai October 2009.

Comfort in your strangeness... with Cynthia Alexander, another one of my OPM heroes, back in the day. 

EPIC. Me and Brutal Grace with the Heads backstage after their sold-out Reunion concert in Dubai.

Support the OPM Means movement : www.facebook.com/opmmeans Your favorite Filipino hits are now available for download in the UAE on www.musicstore.ae

Stumbling upon the Dubai Underground

Back in the 80s, when you say “Middle East” it immediately conjures images of the desert, oil riggs, construction, 24carat gold, strict Arab masters and of course, our lonely OFWs. The Gulf war in the 90s and 9-11 terrorist attacks didn’t seem to improve that image much, but that didn’t stop the diaspora of pinoys in this region, especially the “open” city of Dubai.

See, I had been warned about Dubai, fake, pretentious, boring and removed of any of real soul, but lately I’ve been finding myself checking-in at more and more good art and music venues enough to make me reconsider.


Today a new cultural movement is emerging from the underground, and with that a new breed of talented pinoys are again at the forefront. We caught up with one of them one night, Filipino artist Darwin Gueverra, while he was working on this huge graffiti in some 5-star hotel’s parking lot along with other international artists who flew in for the occasion.

We went further inside, a world-famous DJ was playing, the cool crowd was trickling in and as we took a seat in the gutter with our beers, we thought to ourselves - well look at that, Dubai is not what it used to be. Ironically, despite its array of swanky places, it was there in that parking lot that night that we stumbled upon the city’s real pulse, faint but alive and definitely a sign of good things coming.

*cool photos courtesy of Brutal Grace

Dubai – 2 years and counting

(on the road, photo taken from my lomocam, march 2009)

March 15 2009 --- I packed my bags  and journeyed 4000 miles or so into the unknown. I just quit my job (which after almost 5 years became -quite literally- my life) two days back, left loving friends and family in a daze, that it all seemed unreal to me and to them.  I  wasn’t scared, I wasn’t that sad, or you know how it feels when you feel too much, you stop feeling anything that you just want it done and over with.

After few hours on the plane (and several glasses of white wine), I caught myself crying non-stop. As if  I was grieving the loss of my old life, and the fact that It will be a very long year before I can ever see the people that I loved the most again, and even then I just know it will never be the same.  So I cried my eyes out on the plane that by the time we landed I was somewhat relieved, cleansed by all things past and managed to find enough courage to move on to the next big adventure.

I am not gonna go into details of what happened next, but suffice to say that after 2 years of living here as an expat I have seen , done and gone through a lot things that I would probably never would have thought of if I was still in my sheltered cocoon in Manila. They’re not all good, they’re not all bad, but I am happy and proud to say that I have officially no regrets.

They say there is no better teacher than experience and I found this to be true in all aspects. Living in Dubai – 2 years and counting, is where I've learned some of the most important life lessons :

1. To be a woman, realize what it really means , and learn what it takes to be one.  It is tough to be a woman in a country where people have a different view of women in general , Asians & Filipinas in particular. I have said this before, and I'lll say it again, I have met so many fascinating, inspiring, strong, independent, talented beautiful (inside out) pinays out here, that knowing them actually made me a better person.  Their lives, their experiences....I have just met a woman who at 37 has been jailed in Saudi, almost died in drunken car accident in Dubai, her sea sailing husband has left her with 2 kids and no kind of support, yet she surfaced strong and vibrant with  a cute flower tattoo on her  knee to show, and that’s just one person.  If after 2 years or so in the Middle East and you haven’t learned to be a proper woman, I’d say you’re either very dense or very dependent or both.

2. To be a Fiipino and learn to  appreciate my country and my countrymen.  Living away from home made me realize what I love most about the Philippines and what I admire most of about Filipinos –resiliency, resourcefulness and positivity.  The best traits of a fighter.  

Of course when you love someone its like you're seeing them for the first time and you also find the worst in the them, but the good thing is you now have that desire to make it better, by avoiding the same pitfalls.

I was just talking to a French friend the other night and here’s what she had to say – that she found her Filipino workmates very easy to get along with, always happy and smiling, they work hard, but the only bad trait is that they chit-chat too much. Chizmiz, the buzz, you tell them one thing and the next minute everyone will know. Its really sad, but its something we can’t deny.

Chismis (gossip) is our ultimate downfall. Pinoys like to talk, and when they do they talk about other people, I am guilty of this sometimes, but I am proud to say that have successfully managed to control this thanks to the help good friends who feed my thirst for sensible and enlightening conversations .  So please the next time you’re with someone you just met, pinoy or otherwise, please try to think of something else to say other than “may boyfriend ka na?” or “when was your last relationship?”. Really its lame.

3. To Love more and judge less. Love is the simple solution to most things, but unfortunately because we are vain and blinded by self-love we do not see that we are all connected, we are different but we are the same. I’ve met so many different nationalities, so many different,  annoying quirks and the trick is just to find the thing that makes them tick and from there build your understanding of them. I am hardly ever the best in this, I am still judgemental in a lot of ways (I blame it on being Pinoy) , but the thing is now, I try harder.

4. To believe in music more so than I ever did before. Its true, music is the language that connects us all. Its my lifeblood. it fuels me, it defines me and I am better person today because of it. It has helped me relate to others better. Truth be told, I would not have survived Dubai if not for my Ipod. When there’s nothing else, find your song and play it loud.

5. To find God. I found that in your darkest days, when there’s really no one else, when there’s nothing or no one to hang on to, not even yourself, He is there and whatever happens happens for a reason. I found that life is only meaningless if you think that everything happens at random, If you don’t look up to something bigger than yourself. 

Now Religion  is something else, people make it complicated, to a point where you only see their politics but not the Truth. I have found that my devotion should not be ruled by what these people have got to say. My relationship with God is my own and as long as I have faith, let the self-righteous be damned.

Also, that i may not like the Church or the congregation so much, but I like being Catholic. Its good to know that I made that choice for myself and not by anybody else.

6. Lastly, I learned to appreciate and respect myself more. I learned my worth as a person and that I don’t need to settle for loose change from people. You teach people how to treat you, so you don’t let them get away with treating you like crap. Anywhich way, I say,  Whatever, I am fabulous and its their loss, bwahahaha

So there you go 2 years and counting. Pretty heavy stuff, I doubt if I’d have come face to face with all this things if I didn’t leave the comfort zone. If you managed to get this far, thanks for reading. I highly-recommend jumping off the cliff to the unknown. Its not safe but hey - You live, You learn. 

People power – 25 years and counting

I woke up on Saturday morning from a strange dream - that I hopped on a taxi in Dubai and then suddenly forced to board the “Bicol Express”, you know that old tram that runs from Paco to Bicol, then taken off to a dingy clinic in a rural town in the Philippines to get immunity shots for an unidentified virus that deletes memory.

The People Power Revolution (also known as the EDSA Revolution, the Philippine Revolution of 1986) was a series of popular demonstrations in the Philippines that began in 1983 and culminated in 1986. This case of  non-violent revolution led to the departure of President Ferdinand Marcos and the restoration of the country's democracy.

Feeling strange, I did not realize what all of this meant until I sat down to check what my friends 8000 miles away are up to, only to come across a youtube video of the Coca cola Happiness truck moving around Marikina giving out sweet little things, roses, coke, pogo sticks, folding chairs and teddy bears.

I started the year caught up with "Dubai’’, the parties, the clubs, the arena concerts, the shopping festival, Friday brunches,  shimmery eye makeup  -  sparkling, extravagant, often exaggerated- Dubai, and it left me setting the bar higher, wanting more and more things for myself and my family.

Seeing the Coke truck move around Marikina was like a shot in the arm. Memories came flooding back, of happy summers spent with friends, eating fishballs and drinking coke from a plastic bag. The dream was real. The video reminded me of simple joys back home and how, considering all the shit that’s going on, pinoys are really some of the coolest people you’ll ever find in the world, cheesy sentimentality aside.

The rest of my afternoon was spent watching this brilliant BBC documentary where a London Bus Driver tackles on the task of a Jeepney driver in the Toughest Place to Drive on Earth - Manila . It turned out to be more than just a story of taking on a dare, but an accurate portrayal of our lives as Pinoys, which can all be summed up in one word – STRUGGLE.

If you look at it from a foreigner’s perspective, what Pinoys consider as norm, to them is a great Injustice. Yet we remain cheerful, persevering, resilient, rolling along the punches and bearing our crosses with the tough determination of a jeepney driver or a boxer.

 To foreign eyes, we were handed Lemons, to us these Lemons are better than nothing and you just gotta find a way to survive.  We spent 1000 hours stuck in a traffic jam every year, but there’s nothing else we can do but grin and bear it. So when a red truck pulls up in the neighbourhood to hand out free soda we can’t help but smile. What joy, what relief it must be to be given something you didn’t particularly had to work hard for.   

It is no wonder why the Philippines stop for Manny Pacquiao.  It is no wonder we proudly claim every talented pinoy singer who makes it big abroad.  It is no wonder we put  on 3stars-and-a sun stickers on our cars, or wear poloshirts with the Philippines map on it.

We are all in desperate need of heroes and the slightest signs of hope for a country that seems to have already been taken to the dogs.  Living in the Philippines or having a family in the Philippines, meant being in a life-long Survivor Challenge that you just feel you earned the right to wear a shirt for it, to celebrate your sacrifices.

At the wake of 25 years anniversary of the EDSA revolution, where the world first got a glimpse of how truly great we are, it seemed to me we all need a shot in the arm for a virus that is spreading quickly - erasing everything we learned, everything we stood for, everything we had been fighting for.  

Twenty five years and we have nothing much to show.  In the BBC documentary, Rogelio the Jeepney driver speaks about his frustration, how no matter how hard he works everyday his circumstance never change, on the other hand the fithy rich become richer and filthier.

Somewhere along the way those of us who have found better lives, those of us who were lucky enough to get a taste of sparkling, extravagant, exaggerated good life,  somewhere along the way we forgot that we have been handed a responsibility, a responsibility that is rooted in the faith that we have all been raised to believe - to love one another as much as you love yourself.

25 years and we have nothing show. Its easy to point fingers, to complain, to throw in the towel, take your family and leave, but we all seem to have forgotten that 25 years ago we had the courage and capability to take it into our own hands, to stick the finger to the man and get what we wanted.

I realize I am just one person, but if by pouring my brains and heart out to people who would listen would help me inspire others to go D-I-Y and pay it forward then maybe I can make a dent. Maybe its time we stop complaining and just do what we can to help, in whatever way. 

We may have limited resources,  we may come from different backgrounds, records show there is strength in numbers. Maybe its time we stop thinking of  People Power as Marcos vs. Aquino thing, Red vs. Yellow, and stop debating whether the ex-president should get a heroes burial. He’s dead anyway. We 80million strong are not. 

I am sorry for the long post, and if you are still with me, thank you for taking the time.

I realize that me and my peers are now in that stage of our lives where we are actually capable of doing something, but if we let it die, the dream will die with us. I don’t want to forget, I don’t want to give up without trying and I believe there are others out there like me who just need a shot in the arm to remember how really, uberly cool it is to be Pinoy, cheesy sentimentality aside.