Winning vs Losing

I have to say I have never heard as many boos ever for a winner, than for yesterday's "undefeated" Floyd Mayweather.

It was so loud that you can hear it off the TV while he was being interviewed even with the limited audio picked up by the boom mic. It was so loud on social media, all over the world, that you can almost hear the crowd jeering in your ear.  It was surreal, to have a winner be booed for winning a title that by all technical accounts seem to have been his.

I am not a big boxing fan so I will not pretend to analyze or understand the points system that let Mayweather run away (pun intended of course) with it. All I know is that for all the money he has taken, for all that glittering fancy-title-weights under his belt, at the end of the day all we could hear were the loud Boos.

You can say that boxing is not a popularity contest, and so is life.  In life, bad guys who "don't do nothing" win... but win what exactly?

Maybe its time to ask - what was the prize anyway and to whom does it matter to?

I am not a boxing fan, but I am fan of Manny Pacquiao, and all the Manny Pacquiao's I know  -   those who come out fighting, those who won't back into a corner, those who don't try to earn petty points from someone who didn't know better,  those who can smile at their toughest opponent, those who still see life as only a game, those who can accept  and brush off defeat,  those who can sing, or at least try to,  those who would rather put on a great gig more than care so much about the money in the jar, those who look up to something bigger than themselves, those who inspire us to be better ...

because at the end of the day, I think those are the real people who matter, who deserve to be in the history books, even if they don't get written about, even if they lose.

If there's one thing I take away from the so-called Fight of the Century is that  - no amount of money can buy you Respect and Legacy. These are things that you EARN.

I just hope the Mayweathers of the world has picked up a thing or two from Pacman.




***


"Ngunit hindi nila kayang baliin ang iyong loob,
Ang pag-ibig na hawak moy' hindi malulubog
Lahat ng pera sa mundo, hindi kayang gawing ginto ang huwad na tao
ang mga tinig, palakas ng palakas..."

But they cannot break your spirit,
they cannot bring down the love you hold
all the money in world, 
cannot not turn an ordinary man to gold
the voices are getting louder and louder...

Baby it’s cold outside : How to Be Single during the Holidays

“Single. There’s a certain dignity to it”, goes a line from an old 90’s cult movie favorite, but this quote is especially challenged during the holidays, when the weather starts to drop, love is in the air again and you start to notice that snuggling in your comforter watching silly rom-com movies just doesn’t seem to be enough to compensate for the general lack of body warmth around you.

And if you’re Filipino, it’s the time of year when there’s no escaping the myriad of Christmas parties and family reunions that will lead you face to face to that 98% chance of being asked the dreaded holiday quiz - where is your significant other? Or when are you getting married?

It can come out loud from your old pesky uncle who has had way too many San Miguels, your very concerned Tita, or your recently married friend, or it can be a discreet look of pity from those who are already too embarrassed to ask you for the nth time (like your Mom) but make no mistake about it, will come.

The truth is whether it bothers you or not, whether you care enough to admit it, being on your own during coupledom’s peak season is not an easy task, but there is definitely a silver lining to it all and that is hindi ka nag-iisa gurl (or boy) !

There are plenty of certified SMP (Samahan ng mga Malalamig ang Pasko) members out there. We talked to some of our fabulous filipino singles on how they  cope with being on their own during the holidays.

Affected much?

Danabelle Gutierez,  a writer based in Dubai who recently published her collection of  love poems “I Long to Be the River” says that sometimes she feels she’s the last single person on earth, but other times it doesn’t matter.

I have been single for 11 Christmases. This Christmas would be the twelfth. Honestly there have been more Decembers where I don't even think about it. I mean, sure, it would be nice to drink hot chocolate, cuddle up next to someone by the fireplace in a log cabin, while it snows outside, but I live in Dubai so there’s a slim chance to that fantasy.

My best survival tip is to live your life, surround yourself with the best people, eat all the best food, and make good art. If you're a writer, write. If you're a painter, paint. Whatever medium it is that you use, just make good stuff, and keep doing it.”, adds Danabelle.

A self-confessed romantic,  Dubai-based marketing exec Kate Narvaez opens up on her holiday blues. “It bothers me sometimes spending weekend alone or going out to club / restaurants with friends and not have someone hold your had or dance with you, or just generally be cheesy with.  I’m used to being single, holidays or not, but I have to admit it would really be good to meet someone special, someone for keeps.”

Betsy Vergara, a Finance consultant based in New York shares that there are two sides to the coin, the best and worst part.

“One of the perks of being single during the holidays is the element of openness to spontaneity. If you are a willing subject, you never know what's in store for you during random invites to parties with other single friends. There's also that freedom of doing the things that YOU would feel like doing, no need to please others. You can have one year that crazy/busy/crawl back to your apartment tired and hung over, and the next year,  you can be a total hermit. You can do what your heart pleases.

The worst part is the constant reminder that you are not in a relationship. The Christmas events that are solely targeted for couples. Seeing coupledom PEAK everywhere esp. during the holidays, in the parks, restaurants, movies, media. I mean EVERYWHERE! 

Honestly we all have the tendency to crave affection from a beloved, but there’s no need to feel alone, as for me, I live in New York, where as they say “anything can happen”, so you never know, I’d rather enjoy and be optimistic, Betsy adds.

 Yvette Camba, a self-confessed scrooge who works for Emirates airline also shares the sentiment.   “I like the freedom and it doesn’t really bother me, but being surrounded by couples doing all sorts of PDA sometimes gets to you, I suppose they're entitled to that. For the most part its just irritating when you get asked all the time about “why are you single?”  like it’s not allowed, or it’s such a crime to be on your own. Otherwise I love December, the nice weather, the jolly vibe, minus the traffic and freakish consumerism, I enjoy the joie the vivre feeling it brings. ”

Fight for your right to party…

Jake Ofrasio, video editor and part-time model who has been single since he moved to the UAE says that he’s immune to all the holiday coupledom stress.

“I enjoy it (being single) to a certain degree, since you can do what you want and you don't have to consider anyone in making decisions. The best part would be the feeling of being free. I am not that bothered since I am not big on holidays to begin with. I try to be more outgoing, meet people or I take up a new hobby so I will be busy.”

Mackie Andres, a sound engineer based in Manila also tries to take it easy and gets by his single status through tounge-in-cheek jokes.

“How long have I been single ? As the Air Supply song goes: "All My Life...” i don't really enjoy it, but hey the best part is no drama, or course, there’s also no love! Haha. Anyway, look at all the food this Christmas!

If I could ask Santa for one thing this Christmas it would be for this girl I like who is now online on Facebook to stop ignoring me.  As much as I want to start a chat with her, I’m stopping myself because I know I will just be “seenzoned” , he says with a laugh.

Support groups and Shopping Priorities …

Chai Boiles, 38 who broke up last Christmas with a long-term partner opens up about celebrating this Christmas alone.

Do I enjoy it? Yes and no . Yes, kase may mga friends and sisters naman ako dito sa Dubai, so I have a good support group. The best part is that I don’t have to worry about buying a Christmas present for the boyfriend, tipid diba?  Of course, you also miss the tight hugs, nothing is better than having someone to hug during the cold months and if I can ask Santa for anything, I want a Husband!

Ella Sison a chef based in New Zealand shares the same sentiment on the relief of not having to think about presents.

“Sometimes kasi you feel that your “obligado” to give them nice expensive gifts during Christmas, at least now that I’m single I won’t need to think about it. The best part is being free from commitments but I have to admit there are nights of PMS or when you feel horny and you just allow yourself to wallow in the loneliness.”

The best survival tip is to keep yourself busy, be happy and love yourself even more. If you’re horny there’s plenty of dating apps you can check out. Of course its nice to have someone special, but at the moment I’d rather focus on my career more than anything else. “

Escaping the blues

If being Single means not being commited to anyone, happy traveler and now Boracay-based, Christine Consas shares her fair share of being alone. 

I have been single for 6 years and 10 Christmases, not counting my non-committal 2-year relationship.  I travelled with him first see how it goes and then I finally decided to go on my own, go home and pick up the pieces.

“It’s great to be home for the holidays, I’ve been away for so long that it feels good to be surrounded by happy people and people who love you, you realize there’s really no reason to despair, everything will fall into place at the right time.

Make up artist and Emirates staff Erl Daguplo who has been single for 5 years says that it takes a brave woman to suck it all in.

“I’m enjoying the independence, but “inggit” strikes when you see all these sweet couples. For me, I normally cope with the holiday blues by using my travel perks to backpack to a far away land and just get away from it all.”

While travelling may allow you to escape the hassle of dealing with the holiday blues, cabin crew Joanna Ardiente, who gets to fly all over the world for her job thinks its also what’s keeping her from not finding a stable relationship.

“For the most part i'm not that bothered to be single during holidays. This job has saved from heartaches and
going crazy but I must admit I do get a bit jealous, like when you gather up with friends, and you’re the only single person in the group there’s that moment when you start comparing yourself to them and thinking about how lucky they are while you sit there and wonder why you can’t I have the same thing?  Of course, you also start to realize that it’s better to stay single and wait for the right guy rather than just find someone less ideal to cozy up with, just because it’s the holidays.”

Wishing, waiting and choosing to be happy

Mykhel Reyes, IT professional based in Dubai is the single guy who doesn’t mind the wait.

I believe that in everything you do, you have to be intentional. During this holiday season, you can choose to be happily single, and you can also chose to love. For me, I found my perfect girl it’s been three years since I’ve known her. I’m holding out for her because I love her and when you love someone you don’t just stop. 

For the girls who are also in the waiting line, Mykhel has this to say –

“Remember you are WOW - Woman of Worth  - worth pursuing, worth caring for, worth the wait.” 

In the end, being single during the holidays is not so much about being alone as to opposed to feeling alone. Being alone may or may not be your choice but the truth is you really have no reason to feel alone.   

So chin up, put on that warm smile, face the Christmas music and get ready to give and receive a dozen holiday hugs from the people who thinks you are a wonderful adorable person, albeit still single.  

Survival Tips on Being Single during the Holidays :

1.     Bring a jacket.  Too cold outside? Going to simbang gabi? Be prepared. Sure it’s hard to hug yourself, but having a nice warm coat or cool hoodie helps to fight the cold and while you’re at it put on a lovely scarf too. The best way to stay single during  the holidays is to keep on being your fabulous self-sufficient best. 

2.     Say YES!  Dinner invitiations? Christmas parties? December weddings? Karaoke get-togethers? Highschool Reunions? Go ahead, say yes and fill up your calendar with all these fun activities with friends and loved ones.  As they say, if you can’t beat them join them and have loads of fun doing it!

3.     Give love, get love. The holidays is the time for giving, and paying it forward. If you have so much love to give, let it not be put to waste. Share your blessings with others,  pick out thoughtful gifts for friends and family,  volunteer for a cause, adopt a pet, there are plenty of people (and animals) in the world who would appreciate your TLC. Give wholeheartedly, without expectations, and you will find that truly giving is receiving.

4.     Indulge !  Treat yourself  to that nice big present, a watch, a perfume, a dress, a dayspa, a holiday, you’ve been working hard all year its time to

pamper yourself. No need to wait for a guy, or a girflfriend, or even Santa Claus. Go out there and get it for yourself, because , you know what honey, you can!

5.     Just Smile. Yes bring on the Julia Roberts 10,000 mega-watt smile whenever people ask you about your lack of significant other. Show them that you choose to be happy about it rather than sulk or complain. A smile is enough, a smile is your way of saying, “thank your for that very interesting question, and no I don’t really need to explain myself.” Just smile and let them feel awkward.

6.     Travel. If you have enough means to “get away from it all” and you’re not bothered by missing the noche Buena at home, go out there and see a bit more of the world. Of course, it can get lonely on the road, but if you’re the adventurous type, there’s nothing like travelling to open up yourself to a world of possibilities.

7.     Stay in and suck it. If you’re not the outdoor type, you are also allowed to stay in and wallow.  That’s the beauty of being single, you’re not obliged to do whatever you don’t feel like doing. Cook a great meal, cozy up to a good book or a watch a series of feel-good holiday movies. Bridget Jones, Serendipity, Amelie, Breakfast at Tifannys, there is a long list of great movies to keep you entertained, laugh, cry get crazy, your kingdom, your rules!

8.     Keep the Faith. Remember that Christmas is about peace, about hope and ultimately about love, the kind that perseveres, the kind that endures. Find peace in yourself and make peace with others.  Believe in the magic, for those who don’t believe in the magic will never find it.  Stay positive and awesome!

Brownmonkeys leads a Street Art Renaissance in Deira

Despite the seeming contradiction of street art and the strict anti-vandalism laws in the UAE, the urban art movement is slowly creeping its way into the heart of Dubai, lending a voice to a new generation of settlers and creating a counter-culture bent on exposing the soul of the city. 

At the forefront of this creative revolution is a group of Pinoy artists collectively known as the
Brownmonkeys, who were commissioned for Street Connection, a 10-day Art festival held  recently at the Al Ghurair Center aimed at reviving the city’s pioneering roots.

Ground zero to Dubai’s very first metropolitan center, Deira continues to be among the handful of old neighborhoods in the city that offers a real sense of urban community drawing in a diverse mix of nationalities, including a significant Filipino population. 

Busy, vibrant and pedestrian friendly, very few areas in Dubai can rival the authentic street cred of Deira such that various art installations, creative displays, live exhibits, graffiti, music, and street performances fell right at home in its inner city streets.

Visual artist Mark Ganzon shares his thoughts on the current popularity of Street art and takes their group’s involvement at the recent Street Con as a sign of good things to come.

“I feel that it (Street Art) is getting slowly accepted by the city which is good. At the moment the art scene in Dubai is a bit locked down in sterile environments of galleries. Street art is for the people.  It's for the average person walking down the street, for them to find something interesting other than just advertising billboards that they can relate to.

Rollan Rodriguez, founding member of the Brownmonkeys and curator of Street Con says they chose the venue in Deira because most people don’t realise “how rich Deira is in terms of culture and diversity – it’s a perfect incubator for art”. Describing it as the “original urban community”, Rodriguez also noted that the Street Con aimed to expose urban art to the wider public.

“Urban art is created by artists living, depicting or experiencing city life,” he explained. “This may be the illustration on your T-shirt, the design of your sneaker or the shape of your toys. The artist’s responsibility is to amplify these visual cues and reinterpret them.”

Indeed, the community in Deira has been very receptive, with the Street con gallery conveniently hosted just beside the grocery and the right across the mall. It served as a great platform for the artist to communicate their ideas and engage audiences of all ages and from different background. 

Locals, tourists, laborers, regular office workers, passersby, were treated to a burst of creative energy. Everyone was welcome to take part in the graffiti, toy decorating, sticker-making and even the live performances.

Filipina artist Victoria Viray-Ganzon describes the experience as enthusiastic.

“I loved the whole vibe, how it was very down to earth and very approachable. Unlike the typical gallery scenes, there were no high-brow art critics to ruin it for everybody else. You don’t need any knowledge of art history or to be an art buff to be able to participate and enjoy. It’s a fun activity and for us artists, it was a really good way to give back to the community.”

Victoria who is known for painting strong female characters was invited to work on a mural that would be the only permanent fixture in the Street Con exhibition. Her work showed off a stunning tribal goddess in a huge space, 6 x 4 meters, the largest piece she has have ever worked on in her career so far.

“I prefer to portray strong female characters in various states of emotion. The centerpiece lady in my mural is one of those characters. I imagine her as a goddess of sorts, watching over Deira.” 

Pinoy revelers were happy to see her working on her wall, with some referring to her as “Chichay”, a character from a famous teleserye. Victoria takes no offense though, as this can only mean that our kabayans are connecting with art based on their daily life, whether they were art enthusiasts or not.

 

Expressive and passionate, Filipinos are natural trendsetters who somehow tend to bring in the cool and happy vibe wherever we go. The Brownmonkeys bringing their urban art explosion to an old community is one example of how our creative pursuits always lead to a role as agents for social change, or simply to connect, to bring fun and color to the otherwise mundane world of the daily grind.

Here’s hoping to see more of our Brown and Proud art all over the city!


All Photos stolen with permission from Joseph Manata. xoxo 

Making Sense of Yolanda

As my countrymen in the Philippines struggle with the aftermath of Yolanda/Haiyan, the world's biggest typhoon to make landfall to date, I struggle to find the words to describe the desperation that we feel, especially for us who are away from home, who cannot do much but reach out through words, through balikbayan boxes, through prayers and what little money we can send, all the same feeling that no matter what we do, it just wouldn't be enough.

Much has been said about inefficiency of our government leaders, of our inadequacy to deal with such catastrophe that though I cannot deny the frustration I wouldn't want to add to the stress and the negativity. Rather, I am writing simply to add another voice to the grateful, to let you all know how much we all appreciate the work that everyone is doing, especially those who are on ground - the tireless social workers and volunteers whose heroism day in day out continue to be a source of hope for all us, the local and foreign press who have kept us connected sharing vital information on places where help is much needed, thank you for keeping us up to speed and telling our story.

To the various countries and individuals from all around the globe who have come to support our tiny nation of seven thousand islands, generous with their aid and their resources, expressing symphaties, our heartfelt Salamat for being there, for thinking of us, for lending your able hands, God knows we cannot do this alone.

It is very hard to make sense of something so tragic, but at times like these losing hope is not an option.  As one writer has put it, we are a nation in mourning, but we are not helpless.

Underneath the stench of death, desolation and despair, we have exposed our soul as a nation. Underneath it all, we have shown the world, the stuff that Pinoys are made of - the incredible strenght of a real survivor. You see, we are a people who have, time and again weathered many storms and learned to adapt to all kinds of difficult situations, in our own country and in other places around the world, even in the direst of circumstances you will find us carrying on, as one family, calling each kabayan, (countrymen), ate or kuya (sister or brother), finding reasons to smile despite our many problems.

If there is a silver lining to it all,  not to undermine the great loss that many of my kabayans have suffered, I would say that Yolanda / Haiyan brought us all of us back to our senses,  rightly putting things into perspective.

The truth is, it so easy to be sucked in by the daily grind, by stuff, by so-called matters of consequences - politics, religion, career, fame, money, sex, technology, bad relationships, hollywood, etc but at the end of the day, what really matters most, and perhaps the only thing that matters is our Humanity.

This tragedy is a harsh reminder that no matter who we are, how far we've gone, how much money we have, how much we've achieve, we are all temporary tenants to this generous earth and all of us, regardless of the clothes we wear, our status in society, all of us are living on borrowed time.

That really at the end of the day, when you take away all the petty things, the only thing that would matter is how much, and how generously we loved each other. At the end of it all, we come to realize how our brief lives are only made significant by giving and making a difference in someone else's.

Having said that, still there are many who would rather turn a blind eye to those who are suffering, who would allow their selfish ambitions get the better of them. I pray that they would wake up, I pray that they would not waste time.  Every passing minute is an opportunity to turn it all around. If death is just around the corner, then let us make the days count, and let not those who have perished before us die in vain.

Yolanda may have taken so much from us, but battered as we are, we as Filipinos are proud to show the world what it means to truly live. We are putting our mark on the global map, to be defined as a nation and as people who know the secret to life, and that is to live and let live.


And now these three remain, Faith, hope and love, but the greatest of this is love. - 1 Corinthian 13 :13

Being an Illustrado : A note on National Heroes Day

“There goes my hero, he’s ordinary ” goes a line from one my favorite songs by the Foo Fighters. 

I have always identified with this song for various reasons, but mostly because it reminds me of my everyday heroes - my late Lolo Marsing (who I fondly call Tatay) who has been an OFW all his life, he worked in Saudi to support his family, my Dad, who continues to take pictures of strangers for a living, my Mom  who has worked a 9-5 job since she was 20 while taking care of her family and doing all the house chores, my Lola (who I fondly call Mama) who remained strong and loyal throughout the years, married to an OFW and single-handedly raised her kids and grandkids - each of them and every hardworking Pinoy I’ve met in Dubai struggling to send money back home - they are my heroes. They inspire me to show up at work every day, to work hard and be nice.

Tatay worked as a Foreman for construction company in Saudi Arabia in 1980s. He had worked as an OFW for over 2 decades. 

Tatay on the field with another filipino co-worker. He was always generous and friendly towards them. Their wives would come to visit my grandma often and share stories. 

We celebrated National Heroes day recently amidst the brouhaha of the 10 Billion Peso Scam by Janet Napoles and our corrupt lawmakers. I hated them. I hated how the upper class, the elite, the ones in power continues to manipulate us like the Indios of Rizal’s time. But then I can’t help but think that maybe it is also our fault, the Middle Class, the Illustrado, the educated pinoy, the ones who know but can’t be bothered because we’re too busy taking selfies, or looking out for shopping bargains, working in our offices, watching out for low fares to Boracay, waiting for the next Superman installment, just maybe, we the so-called Illustrados, are in effect, to blame.

They say that Hate is not the opposite of Love, Apathy is. I am waking up to this realization that by being silent, by being apathetic, I have contributed to the damage. It is time we Illustrados rise up and fight for our rights and the rights of those who do not have a voice.

Tatay at their accomodation. Living in Dubai now, I can relate. 

Another day at work in the hot field. 

The Rise of the Middle Class

The recent Million People March that snowballed from social media to a full blown protest/picnic at the Rizal Park is a good indication of a middle class that is finally finding its voice. Thanks to Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Youtube and most of all, the blogsites that became a venue for Anonymous writers to freely reveal what they know. Detailed accounts of the nasty modus operandi of this long-standing organized mafia linked to some powerful people in government surfaced to the public via comments on a blog, free to share with no other agenda but to bring out the truth. 

Support came in from working class Filipinos from all sectors and from all over the world who felt the injustice of toiling everyday only to find out that their hard-earned tax-payers money is being squandered carelessly at Beverly Hills by some spoiled little rich girl who, perhaps unaware of their unexplained wealth, had the gall to post everything online. Her shiny Louboutins and their Disneyland mansions plastered all over social media made the case increasingly harder for us to ignore. These visuals triggered the ire of the otherwise indifferent middle class who finally found something to fight for.

 Fighting for Change

When I was younger, I refused to participate in discussions involving religion and politics thinking that these things are better left to the “adults.”  I was resigned to corruption in the Philippines the same way I was resigned to my Catholic upbringing. Both were something I was born into and were too late to change. Besides, I had other things I’d much rather worry about, like “bakit hindi ako crush ng crush ko?” 

It was only when I came to Dubai, when I lived with our kabayans and met many other different nationalities that I started to open my eyes to the realities of being a Christian and being a Filipino. I learned how it is not easy being a Pinoy in the Middle East and how coming from a third-world country limits my opportunities despite my merits. I saw first-hand how the lack of jobs in the Philippines has led many to leave their families behind and how corruption in the Philippine government continues to take advantage of our OFWs.

On the other hand, I also witnessed first-hand the kindness of strangers, especially of kabayans, how their simple “malasakit” have changed countless lives and steered them for the better. I was reacquainted with the phrase “love thy neighbor as you love thyself” in a concrete setting.  I learned that faith, more than anything else, is an action word, and if I wanted anything to change I needed to get involve. Cliché as it may seem, the change I wanted to see really had to begin with me.

Tatay on a rare occassion of attending my grade school graduation, with my Mom and Mama (grandma) . I did my best to make them proud, that gold medal was priceless to them.  

It’s all in the mind

A revolution, a real revolution, the kind that inspires real change, all of them begins in the mind.

In most Pinoy gatherings  (and we have a lot of these with a lot of pork dishes too), I hear talk about corruption, all of us pinoys hate our government, but only a few really believe that Philippines can be saved.  I cannot blame them. Hundreds of years had passed since our national hero, Rizal wrote his epic Noli me Tangere, yet it remains relevant today, reflecting the same ills that our society is suffering from since the 1800s. Nothing much has changed.

The 10 Billion Peso Pork Barrel scam and its catastrophic implications are no less than disheartening. I can understand the sentiments of most of my collegues when they say “wala naman mangyayari” or “ganyan naman lagi”. 

Perhaps it is so, but the little spark in me won’t die because I know for a fact (and I can swear on my Lolo’s grave) that heroes, real heroes, are just ordinary men and women doing extraordinary things.  

If only we can change our way of thinking, if only we start to believe in our own capabilities. There is no better time for us, the Illustrados, to wake up and inspire the change we want to see by sticking to our ideals and sharing what we know. Today, with social media as our connecting thread, one click can go a long way.  It is time to finally make use of our expensive smartphones and education degrees that are parents worked hard to provide.

It is time for us to actively participate in our country’s future as we all share a common destiny. It is about time we stop wasting our potential. Be a hero minus the dorky cape.     

Tatay's final resting place. He has lived and died a hero and he will stay in our hearts forever.